No Networked: Red Red Rewine

The red wine buzz wore off thanks to some healthy pizza rolls on sale from Wild Oats and some “Bedtime” Yogi (like Yoga not like Bear or Berra) Tea. I am trying to write to infuse some tiredness into my body, which is recovering from a cold but contracted insomnia.

Soul music only after midnight; I am perturbed by the green squiggly line when my grammar ain’t right. More so, I am worried that I have not written a damn thing about fall break or more importantly my two interviews. (Two real ones, we don’t count the OCI also rans.)

Pointless hobnobbing (wow, that’s a real word, I was waiting for the squiggly line) with the crème de la crème (makes me want to buy a Lacoste multicolor tennis shirt) of the town's Legal Community, who still haven’t hired me thanks to a few professors and my inability to think like them.

But I had fun, it was like a modified Pimps gathering/high school prom, complete with a community leader/pastor receiving an award. But it was a modified Pimps gathering due to the overdressed men, and underdressed women. Too much cleavage, I mean I been clubbing all over the world, and I think I saw more cleavage tonight than all the times I went out in Tokyo and London. (And London gots the finest women.)

Sigh. But I think this was the first time in laul skool that people who actually put work in got what they deserved. All the scholarship winners deserved it. They worked, persevered and rightfully won. Unlike, outlining and studying till your pons and medulla hurts and then getting a B (hell, ok, B-). You felt like you missed out on a sale at Nordstrom’s. (We’re at a second tier, so, Kohl’s.)

Next time, I’m making the “whoredurves”, since the main course was like a property lecture on Friday. It was awful and incomprehensible. Who the fuck eats cold Chinese noodles? There is no such thing as cold Thai, Chinese, Vietmamese noodles. That was some bogus wannabe fusion that failed. Food needs an anti-miscegnation statute. (Only cold noodles are Soba and maybe (maybe) Udon. That’s Japanese, damn it, noodles came from Asia, and like Asians, they may sort of look alike, but they are not the same. And they are not all cold. Only Asian women age 20 to 25 (couldn’t resist)). The chicken and rice were cold too. Now if the red wine wasn’t hitting, then we would have a problem.

Yes, the stories were good, and I was so buzzed that I would have enjoyed sitting through a civil procedure class in Polish taught by an Argentine. The tea went to my head, and I put on my relaxing/weed smoking song so I’m chill. (Don’t worry, no Mary Jane here.) The Hills of my Hometown. My old Acura. College Likes. High School Crushes. Late Night Trips to Fast Food Joints. When My Friend Brought that Stuff Back From Amsterdam. Never mind, what was I writing about? Yeah, I had a good time. I love people watching in different social settings. However, networking and grades work together. I wish I could break down the real to the hapless new students. But if your grades are not good enough to get you in the door, then it doesn’t matter if you know 20 partners and 15 judges. Even if your grades get you in the door, and you have some extracurricular credential, it still does not mean you will get the job. Essentially, networking only counts if your mentor (daddy, former professor, etc.) is like “that” with the partner or shot callers. If not, you knowing them are like me knowing Sean “Puffy/P.Diddy/Diddy” Combs. It is pointless. Grades are still the TSA workers. Yes, grades alone may not get you the job, but it will have you wearing a suit everyday of OCI. Wearing a suit everyday for OCI is like being a groupie in LA, one of these times you’ll get an athlete or an actor, or at least a car ride to San Diego with Jerry Buss. Digression, essentially, even if you have the personality of a non-rechargable Rayovac battery, with 20 plus interviews, someone will hire you. They have too because besides bulldog-pitbull courtroom poseurs and smooth talking and sexy negotiators, firms live off of Rayovac (not even Duracell) batteries. And if its grades vs. grades + connections, grades may still lose out. But networking just with your charm minus grades or with just good/ok grades ain’t gonna work.

But it was cool, seeing a professor of mine, drinking a Budwiser straight out of the bottle. And yes, I still think she’s cool, even if her teaching skills are a bit bland. Judges and lawyers cracking their blander failed sitcom jokes, which we all laugh along, there should be an “applause” sign at these gatherings, or maybe a hype man. “Ok, Lawyers, now clap!” Even if your mind was wandering, and wondering why that reporter in the News Intro segment had a yellow jacket and a pinky ring, hype man would say, “Now clap, lawyers!” and now “Stand up” “clap.” I wished I could be up there giving the keynote, I would have said, “No, its cool, you can sit down, I don’t need a ‘forced’ standing ovation.” “Waiter, more wine and give that woman falling out of her dress a partner…..I mean a partnership, and a jacket, please.”

And no seconds? I think a desert tray passed around by the waiters would have been the icing on a great night.

I should get used to these situations anyway. Now, the post conversations about the interviews, that’s another blog. All I can say is I can read people like pit bosses. And what about that old adage: you don’t talk about religion, politics, (and sex?) when you first meet someone. Shit is crazy. Like the wine staying in my head for an hour plus, that I came so damn close to bidding a Ron Artest CD on Ebay, now that would have been worse than cold Chinese/Vietnamese noodles.